PEOPLE HELP THE PEOPLE

As my mother always says, "Everything has a solution except death" and how right she is! A week after my "explosion" I must say that everything is going well and slowly, my problems, those problems that seemed impossible to solve are not so important. This week, I have noticed many things. The first, and for me, the most worrying is that I behaved like a selfish. I have just been thinking about myself  and that my problems were the most important. I have locked myself that I have not let others come out to me. I distrusted the people who have been helping me when they are in more trouble situation than me. I forgot to smile, I had forgotten how beautiful life is, how lucky I am, what wonderful friends I have, and that my family support me and love me in the distance. Sometimes, I worry so much about wanting to be perfect for the others so I forget about the others. I want to apologize for my behavior. It was not right and I am sorry if I have hurt you. I am so sorry...

I have realized that this life is not to live individually. We need others to learn, to grow, to live. I am a very independent person, maybe too much. I was thinking that ask for help was a sign of weakness, that ask for help was disturbing. But I did not realize that people were helping me without telling me and I just thought about myself and my problems ... how wrong I was! So now, I will care more for my friends and family because without you I am nothing. Thank you very much!

Regarding this issue, I have also realized I do not appreciate and do not express my feelings to the people I love. I am afraid to say that I love you, but it is something we all need to express and feel. People who appreciate me tell me and show me love. Now it is my turn to tell you that I love you so much and I will be by your side always. People from Endorfina Glogów, Bbl Glogów, my colleagues and friends from Szansa, my family and loved ones from Spain and rest of the world: Thanks for being in my life, for not to let my dream over, for making me smile, for making me happy, for everything! I love you. <3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmLNs6zQIHo 

(People help the people, Birdy)

YESTERDAY

Yesterday, I had a crisis. Strong crisis. Yesterday I exploded ... Since I returned to Poland, I have been dragging a lot of stress and worries about my future here. Actually, my expectations were too high and now I have hit a wall. Nevertheless, I have always tried to stay positive and optimistic, always with a smile on my face. And I thought that would work. Until yesterday, I collapsed. I burst to mourn. From my mouth out hundreds and hundreds of  "I can not, I can not, I am not able..." So much time trying to convince me that everything was fine until yesterday something made me see that things are not going well. Yesterday I broke down, but I have not given up. This is another battle that I have to face. One of many battles. So far, I have not lost because I am still alive. I know myself and I know, that this "crisis" should happen. It is a warning that something is wrong and must change. So now, Sara, you have to fight like never before. In the end, I will win the battle for me and for all the people who love me.

MY LIFE AFTER MY EVS PROJECT

And after the EVS, what? Well, I try to continue with my life, which is now a little bit more difficult. The project subsidized most of the costs. Now, these expenses: apartment, bills, internet, phone, etc.. I have to take care of this by myself. The beginnings are difficult, everyone knows, and sometimes there are situations that surpass me. Negative thoughts and doubts that make me wonder if I can survive in another country. Well, survive, yes, that is clear. I mean, to live in good conditions. A lot of questions: Maybe had I have too many illusions? My expectations have been very high? Am I too confident? I have the support of many people, and if were not for them, many times I would have been in really bad situation. The problem is that there are many opportunities, but nothing concrete ... and my anxiety increases with the passage of time and the wait. I really hate to depend on others...

After my project as a European volunteer, I have the good fortune to follow within the  "Szansa" team. I keep offering my Spanish classes to children and I will also continue English classes for seniors. Moreover, thanks to the help of a great friend and mate, Natalia, we have drafted a new Erasmus + project, so that other volunteers can come from different countries, like me, to Poland to make a European Voluntary Service. It was very stressful because it was the first time we wrote a project of this type (now I realize that the theory in college was not enough) but in the end, with the help of Darek and Anna, we were able to complete and submit the project on time. Now is time to wait and hope it pass. I hope so, because it is a project in which I put all my effort and my dream,  I wish we could pull it off.

As for the rest, I still have my private Spanish lessons, and although it goes very slowly, it seems that we are slowly moving forward. I had some offers from private schools but nothing has materialized yet. I am a little worried but I trust that everything will be ok.

I have to continue my education in order to offer the best. And I am studying Polish with intensity because it is something I really need if I want things go well here. I have gone through days when my self esteem and my energy were not at their best. I am very stubborn and I did not want anyone to help me, but sometimes you need that help, especially to start. But I am tired because I do not think I move, I am standing, and often, it is because I depend on others. So tired of this situation, I decided to remedy it, trust myself, studying, learning, reading, training, get the better of me, because I have reached a comfort zone that does not allow me to improve .

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I must say, that although I do not want the help of others, that does not mean I do not appreciate it. Thank you very much to all of you who are always there to keep me up from falling. I am really surprised the selfless help I am getting from many people. People who not long ago I know but they have already shown me that they care about me. So now my mission is not to disappoint them. I can not give up in to adversity because there are and will be always problems. So I will take the force from wherever and I will continue fighting to have the life I always wanted. My dream began almost ten months ago and I will continue to fight to keep it. 

I am really very lucky. Thanks to Szansa , last days 12,13,14 and 15  of May, I traveled with Martyna and Darek to Florence, Italy. There were the meeting on the multinational project CHARM holding by Szansa and other NGOs to fight against racism and discrimination was held. It was really great, I met lovely people, I learned a lot and  I was able to enjoy my favorite sport in a beautiful city. In addition, the 15th was my birthday. The celebration began in Florence that day and the days after. On Friday, it was also Darek´s birthday, so we celebrated his birthday and mine together in the beautiful Anna Lechowska´s house with other mates from Szansa. It was great ,thank you very much! But that was not all. On Saturday I had dinner with the people from  my running  team . And I got a nice surprise. I thought they had forgotten my birthday, but suddenly, our coach, went to the room with beautiful bouquets of roses and everyone sang me "happy birthday" ( here Sto Lat ). It was really wonderful. Thank you! (And special thanks to you , you know who are you, because you care a lot about me and you make me happy.)

Everything moves slow, but I am very lucky to be here, in my beloved Poland, surrounded by wonderful people.

RUNNING: RESPECT, UNION AND HAPPINESS

On April 18th, I returned to Glogów (Poland) after spending a few days with my family and friends. Although I was a little stressed and unsure at first, gradually everything is back to normal and my life here remains idyllic thanks to the people who are in it. Now, everything is a little more difficult, but still wonderful.

Almost a couple of days after arriving in Poland, I participated in the Cross (Cross Stracenców) for which we were preparing for several months. It was an amazing day that we show that we can achieve everything we set in life. With our motto: Zawsze jest SZANSA, we have completed the five km between mud, soil, slopes and embankments with very good face and good time! It was a wonderful day! Also, I won a contest: a signed t-shirts by important people in Poland (do not ask me because I do not know who they are, lol) and some hats. But the most touching were the words who, the host of this event and friend Jurek Górski (I admire him) said about me. I felt the warmth of my Polish people, thank you very much!

After this, we continue training each week. In fact, we have formed a great group of people who share a common passion: Running. Not only that,we learn from each other, we help and motivate us and we are happy. 

In addition, we conducted on Saturday the project: Sport Generacja (Sport Generation) that tries to show the children a healthy lifestyle through sport, play and fun. I have the honor of being one of the coaches, along with a great person, Ewa. Together, with the support of our coach, and everyone who participated, we aim children to enjoy the benefits of sport. Again, thanks for letting me participate in this great initiative.

On 03th of May, Constitution Day in Poland, we have participated in another popular race in Grebocice. It was four kilometers that were difficult for me because it was very cold. Anyway, I'm glad, because I did well. (Next year, I will win, lol) This year, the podium was for our dear Ewa. I must say, who also won the Cross,was  Aga from our running team. Super Women! I admire you! You all are great! ....

 Now, we are more and more people who enjoy running and we are happy for this!!

Come with us!!

You are wellcome to come with us!! 

Keep on running my friends! 

Last training: 22 persons!! :)

ZAWSZE JEST SZANSA

Since I am in Poland I have learned how to be happy with the simple pleasures of life. I came ready for everything, really nervous, but I decided to be brave. And believe me when I say that after nearly nine months with all of you, I am still giving thanks for this wonderful opportunity that life gave me. One of the many things I have learned is that if you want something, you can do it. Life is passion, courage, achievement and resilience. This last word is one of my favorites because I admire the ability of humans to overcome any misfortune: no matter how bad life treats us, you and only you, have the power to change it. For this reason, I am who I am, so I am a social educator, because of this, I decided to dedicate my life to helping others, so now in my life I am not just walking, now I run, I dance, I move, I feel alive. Did you know? Although as a child I always played sport, I had a time in which the only thought of moving from the chair made me tremble. That time was long and hard, and even though I tried several times, I always returned to the same place. I sat contemplating how my life flashed in front of my eyes. Until I said to myself: or you change or you die. It was a hard decision but at last I packed and left. And now I can say I made the best decision of my life. I decided to live and here I am: I am happy, I live surrounded by wonderful people who have taught me that I am important too. Do not ask me why I have decided to travel, running, dancing, teaching and learning ... travel with me, run with me, dance with me, teach, learn! Gantalcalá, Szansa, Biegam bo lubie, family and friends, Glogów, Poland, Spain...: thank you, thank you very much! You are my inspiration in life and now it is my turn to be the inspiration in someone's life. Zawsze jest Szansa, keep on running my friends!! :)

KEEP ON GOING!!

Hello friends! 

I am in my hometown, Logroño, in Spain, enjoying some vacation visiting family and friends. My project ended last 31 of March but I am not sad because my adventure continues with new projects, new challenges and new dreams to fulfill. While I am on vacation and with my mind a bit scattered, I still work on my next project. I have exciting new ideas that I want to launch in Glogów! It is the moment of truth, to prove I am, as my second family believes, a Super Woman. My workmates took me a lovely detail:  they met and waited for me, my great friend, Darek, on behalf of all, gave me some nice words and a picture in which I appear, as a caricature, wearing like Super Woman. I cried a lot but I also laughed out loud at my gift. Loved it! I have enough life to thank you for everything you have done for me, thank you so much!!!

So...what now?

Maybe you think that because I finished my project, my blog is also going to end. No, because as you know, I love writing and share my experiences. So, keep on writing. :)

Here in Spain, I feel a little weird. I guess that is about of the change, which is normal. I try to live my life as if I am Glogów and also, I fulfilled another of my challenges: Run 10 km on a cross. I did it! And my sister too, is something that has brought us closer! I feel so good!

It is true that the uncertainty about my future cause me some anxiety but I am aware, it is because of the thoughts that are in my head and that I can achieve what I set if I ignore those negative thoughts and if I work hard. Now, everything is in the air, but step by step it will come true!! Believe and believe that you can, live the life that you always wanted to live!

LAST DAY OF SPANISH LESSONS IN SZANSA

Last Tuesday was the last day of Spanish lessons in Szansa. Because of this I wanted to prepare something special for kids. I invited to come my Turkish friend, Merve, who taught us "Belly Dance". It was really great!! After this, I prepared food and drinks for kids and we were playing games. We played also a game called "Abanico" in which kids wrote sentences in Spanish to their mates and to me. It was so nice!! I will miss them a lot!! Even they gave me some presents: flowers, chocolate... Ohh, How I love them!! This is my last day, but I will be with them in other time for sure!! I will not forget you, kids!! <3